The Harmful (and Hidden) Mindset Holding Men Back in Dating and Relationships

And How My Journey From Social Outcast To “Playboy” To Nearly Divorced Helped Me Discover The Formula For Success
On March 15, 2019, I told my wife it was time to separate. 

Nearly 9 months later, as I write this letter to you, she’s in the other room making us dinner. Sweet potato gnocchi, if you’re curious. Christmas music is playing. She’s smiling. 

And so am I.

You see, I never wanted to get divorced. I love my wife. She’s a beautiful, intelligent, honest woman… and I wanted to build a future with her.

But last spring, our six-year relationship was on the rocks.

I didn’t feel respected. The connection between us was weakening. We resented each other. And while we had an “intimate life,” it was far from ideal.

Fast forward to today, the dynamic could not be more different.

Every day she expresses love and appreciation for me. Nagging and anger has been replaced by femininity and affection. And our sex life is not only more frequent… it’s far more passionate and exciting.

**What happened?**

Well, that’s what I wanted to talk to you about today.

But first, let me introduce myself.

My name is Pat Stedman, and I’m a Dating and Relationship Coach for Men.

I’ve worked with hundreds of guys on a close and personal basis since 2015, getting them more dates and better relationships.

But there’s something I’ve noticed that it seems like a lot of people are afraid to address…

Dating sucks right now.

People are playing games with each other and we’ve hit a point where dating has become transactional.

We’ve got:

- PUAs sharing tactics to “win” at a bar/club game
- Both genders withdrawing to the comfort of online dating
- Ideologies like feminism or the red pill creating a divide between the genders

…and I don’t even want to get into the deeper cultural issues linked to depression, drug use, and isolation.

For many, the picture has become pretty bleak.

But this isn’t an “all is lost, you need me to fix you” pitch. 

No, if you do the internal work, it is almost inevitable that you will get what you desire out of your interactions with women.

Whether that means passionate flings or a marriage and kids, you’re probably not more than a few mindset shifts away from achieving that.

But this takes delving within your psyche and figuring out where your problems are.

Something not a lot of men are willing to do. And even when they do, it takes them a long time to work through their internal issues.
 
Time that they could have spent being happy and building up their foundation even more. 

One of the most common of these internal issues I encounter with men is that they are needy – also known as the “nice guy” temperament.

I have another name for it though:

Transactional Attitude.

What is a transactional attitude?

It’s a low consciousness mindset that makes it almost impossible to have a deep bond with the opposite sex. 

In dating, it means a world of cheap sex and relationships where your attitude is about using people to get what you want.

For the single men out there, this is chasing a particular outcome (getting laid) at all costs.

They compromise their values and standards just for a short-term gain, and end up trading attention for sex with women they don’t really want to be around.

And though some men may like the idea of “opting out” and staying on this low level of consciousness, many others want something deeper, but don’t know how to get there.

But this doesn’t just relate to dating. One of the big problems in relationships is that men have adopted a transactional attitude towards interactions with their mate.

Lots of men fall into this trap, and it’s basically only good if you want to create a relationship based on using each other rather than love and intimacy.

When it comes to women, you have to break yourself out of the habit of trying to get something from them.

It’s ok for women to have something that you want…. But when it turns into a need, many men start to repress themselves and do weird things.

Having an ulterior motive is one of the least authentic things you can do and one of the easiest ways to turn off a woman.

This is where the “nice guy” paradigm comes from. This is where “creepy” comes from.

But those who claim something deeper isn't possible today are lying to themselves.

What Needs to Change Before You Can Escape Your Own Transactional Attitude

There are 2 big changes you need to go through to escape this mindset:

#1: You Need To Go Hungry

This applies more to you single men, but even the men in relationships need to back off on their partner and leave some space for mystery. 

Put it this way: 

You need to put down the Big Mac before you can start to eat Wagyu Steak.

I'm not a moral arbiter, and I don't care about casual sex. But transactional sex is a must-stop if you're unhappy with dating.

Transactional dating is poison for your soul. It's like eating a Big Mac every day and wondering why you feel like shit.

Instead, we want to get you to something more like fasting in the morning and eating steak in the evening instead of snacking all day.

It's not difficult to find women who you can have an incredible relationship with. What's difficult is realizing why you haven't been able to find these women.

#2: Start Showing the True “You”

The opposite of a transactional attitude is an “open” attitude. This when you’re giving and interacting in the moment for the pure sake of the moment.

You are trying to find out what the truth between you and her is.

This is *very* different from concealing your intentions.

Stop giving to get. If you have desire, don’t hold it back.

(But express it in a way that respects her boundaries)

When she starts to feel this dynamic where you need neither her body or validation, she’ll feel free to express herself sexually and open up to you emotionally. 

This is a boon whether you’re looking for flings or are ready to settle down.

But all this is far too deep to cover here. In fact, this is one of the first lessons in the course because so many men struggle with their transactional mindset without ever realizing it.

The key is values and standards. Looks and game are important, but they’re only the tip of the iceberg.

It’s my job to give you the confidence in yourself – the product – and strategies necessary – the sales and marketing – to repeatedly get yourself into these relationships.

But my “dirty little secret” has been that unlike some coaches… I’m not a natural at this stuff.

 From Social Outcast To “Playboy” To Nearly Divorced: My Crazy Path To Dating and Relationship Success

Sure, in 2012 a lot of people considered me a “playboy” of sorts.

I was dating 4 girls at the same time, throwing parties where 200+ people attended…

But just 5 years earlier my girlfriend had broken up with me, I was more-or-less friendless, and I had such severe social anxiety if I ever even got an invitation to a party with strangers… I’d have to leave within 20 minutes because of panic attacks.

The moral of the story is I went from the bottom to the top, straight back down to the bottom… and had to learn to crawl my way out once again.

But read between the lines and the point is that I’m actually not special.

I didn’t know anything about women and failed over and over again with them.

Understand:

Everything I achieved with women, I had to learn.

Sometimes that was through courses or books. Often through coaching mentors. And far too frequently through painful experiences.

 How I Escaped “Mediocrity” With Women… And You Can Too (Much Faster Than Me)

But I admit there was an “advantage” I had, so to speak.

Something that allowed me not only to survive, but thrive.

I was OBSESSED with understanding myself and women.

For years I consumed everything I could on the subjects. I thought about them daily. I talked about them with anyone who would listen.

You know the “10,000 hours” rule of mastery? (which isn’t accurate, but whatever)

I must have clocked closer to 50,000 hours in this field over these past 11+ years.

I’ve worked with men who were struggling with women and I’ve worked with men who were struggling to choose a woman.

It’s all the same in the end.

You need to go deep down to understand yourself and what you truly desire.

Then you need to go deeper and think about why you desire it. 

For example, let’s go back to the situation with my wife (you didn’t think I was going to leave you hanging, did you?!)

On the surface, you could see it as giving up. Failing in a relationship.

I’m wholly unqualified to talk about women. I can’t even keep my wife happy.

But that’s not what was happening at all.

This was a necessary action to take, because I could feel that we were struggling.

When something is wrong, it needs to be addressed. Letting things fester is how so many men end up in poor (or no) relationships.

But this wasn’t about me running or giving up on my relationship. This was about me saying what I would and would not accept.

You see – lots of men leave problems be because they don’t want to “rock the boat”.

What they don’t realize is how quickly this puts them in a transactional attitude where they’re doing anything they can to keep things “normal”. 

I needed to bring authenticity to the table and call a problem out before it could get even worse. 

This was the only way to escape the sort of problems I have helped men deal with for the last 5+ years.  

Because there’s another thing you need to know – on my journey to learn more about women (and build my business), I had put off raising my prices for *years* because I wanted to be sure I could deliver many multiples of the price in value.

Women can be captivated by charm, psychological strength, and other deeper things, but in the long-term they also need the safety of a provider.

When I failed to show up in that regard, I started to lose the frame in my relationship. But now with my coaching taking off, I needed to reclaim the frame. Asking for a separation was the first step to fixing that.

It wasn’t a bluff. I would rather have no relationship than one where I wasn’t properly respected.

However, this was a calculated risk. I can’t say I knew for sure it would work, but based on the fundamentals of my relationship with my wife, it had a high chance of working out.

And as you learned, it did.

What Makes Me Different From Your Run-of-the-Mill Coach

A caveat: asking for a separation isn’t the right move for everyone in a struggling relationship.

Some people look at theory and apply it. They do not THINK and adjust methods based on context and the history & psychology of the individuals.

In this situation, I knew that my wife and I had everything necessary to have a future together.
But some things needed to be renegotiated for it to work.

Other amateurs who lack expertise might have prescribed something far less contextually appropriate. Like walking away. Or focusing on the passion. Who knows.

They are amateurs who like "helping people" without having any real expertise.

The point is that by understanding our problems and where they fit in the context of my relationship, I was able to fix it.

Speaking of context, there’s a reality that most other people in the space don’t address:

Getting a girl is very different from keeping a girl.

The dating experts know dating and the relationship experts know relationships, but do these skills always translate?

By and large, they DON’T.

The things that attract a woman when you first meet her are very different that the things that cause her to fall deeper and deeper in love.

Because getting a girl involves playing to fantasy, while keeping her requires expressing authenticity.

(This might not have ever occurred to you, but it’s just one sample of what I teach)

But even more importantly, I teach guys how to manage this transition.

The same higher level principles can be applied to any man’s life – whether he wants more dates or to settle down with his perfect girl – but this takes deeper shifts than most coaches are ready to guide you through.

My goal is to make my students great with women. Full stop.

That involves an integrated approach that teaches men how to BE, rather than what to say or do.
The difference may sound semantic, but gets to the core of a massive issue.

Because to be honest, the best criticism of dating coaches is that they can only help you get one of these things.

If you come to them with a relationship problem and their expertise only extends to pick-up, they’re going to fumble.

And your average relationship coach isn’t going to understand the specific dynamics of day game vs. night game vs. social game and how to use them all to your advantage. 

My success at both dating and relationships informs a full-spectrum understanding that allows me to repeatedly guide men through the lifecycle of their love life.

This is something very few other coaches do.

So it’s probably a good thing I decided to become a coach given all the energy I spent in this area lol. 

But why does any of this matter to you?

Well, because I KNOW not all of you have the passion for this like me.

And, I know you DEFINITELY do not have the time to spend on it like I did.

But even so, you likely have at least some of the same problems I had:

- Negative self-talk
- A sense of “powerlessness” towards women
- Low confidence and self-worth
- Small or stagnant social circle
- Difficulty getting dates
- Trouble keeping the women you want attracted
- Getting burned by “low quality” women
- Bad behavior and attitude from your girlfriend / wife
- Dissatisfying sex life
 
And my guess is you want them solved, right? Ideally in a lot less time? For dare-I-say not too much money?

INTRODUCING: THE PAT STEDMAN MASTERCLASS

The fastest and most effective way to change your outcomes with women, of course, is to do coaching.

(Which is why you will get an invitation to apply after purchase)

But there is one problem with coaching.

It’s expensive.

And not just for you, the client.

But for me too.

You see, “The Masterclass” — which I’m going to explain to you in just a minute — was not actually developed to be a course for individual sale.

I filmed it because by the summer of 2019 I was at a breaking point.

Business was going well.

But it was almost going too well.

I had so many clients, I was on calls 35+ hours each week. The amount of time on the phone on a given day was 6, 8, sometimes 10 hours. On top of the rest of my work for the business, it was amounting to 70+ hour weeks… and I was getting burned out.

Moreover, I was starting to realize that I was getting burned out for no reason.

Almost every day I’d have the same conversation with a different guy. And as I got more clear on what was essential for these men to understand, and what they had to do to shift their situation… it started to hit me…

Why am I saying the same thing over and over again, when I can record it?

So I developed a plan.

I would create a lower-priced coaching program with this course as the backbone. 

It would be an “encyclopedia” chock full of all the insights and advice that reformed not only mine but my clients’ dating lives, tripled their number of friends, and saved their marriages. The program would have less 1-1 time with me, but with the course it would achieve similar results.

It would be a win-win for me and my clients. They would save money, I’d make more, but I'd also get to help more guys.

But something happened after I recorded the course.

After talking all day for 3 days straight, covering topic after topic… 

I realized it was so good, had SO much critical yet often neglected information in this field…

It HAD to be sold on its own.

Because lets face it.

Even if the price of coaching was lower, not everyone could still afford to drop a couple grand.

But ANYBODY serious about improving their outcomes with women can afford a $500 course.

Especially one over 14+ long covering in depth practically every ESSENTIAL topic pertaining to women. Each of the five modules are 2-3 hours long, plus an hour of a "bonus" Q&A.

We're going to get to the details of all of that in a minute.

But before I explain what’s inside this course… I want to make two things clear.

First, understand that the material in this course is VERY dense and detailed. I do not recommend you watch more than 30 minutes a day - definitely not more than an hour. It's the sort of stuff you want to sit with, and allow to get into your unconscious mind. Indeed, I strongly suggest you watch through this series twice.

Second...

This course is NOT a magic bullet.

Transformations occur because people take ACTION.

If you just consume this material and don’t go out and apply it… you will be getting 20% of the value.

Information is great… but you will not fully appreciate the levels to what I have revealed to you unless you are out there using it. 

You need to interact with this material — you must see and feel its truth — in order to internalize the lessons.

Remember the formula:

Wisdom + Application = Growth.

Skip half of the equation, and you will be in the slow lane.

With that in mind, let’s talk about what I’ve put together for you.

Module 1 - Deep Psychology, Energy, and Frame

This module is oriented around transforming negative beliefs, orchestrating self-healing, and building up your confidence. Along with this “inner work,” it also shows you how to improve your “vibe” and solidify your mindset around women. 

In this module, topics include:
  • the nature of “self-sabotage”… and how to stop it
  • ​​the difference between intuition and fear, and how to make good decisions
  • ​​what is “frame”… and how to build it up, so you have full control when interacting with women
  • ​​men and women based on evolutionary psychology - the real “role” of men
  • ​​the 2 basic things you *need* to do when talking to women if you want them in your frame
  • ​​what is “energy” and how to read it in different environments
  • the first, essential question you need to ask yourself before proceeding in any interaction with a woman (the vast majority of guys ignore this - it’s one of the most important sections in the course)
  • ​​Jordan Peterson flawed understanding of men and women… how you should be really thinking of yourself compared to a woman
  • ​​the role of a father in your life, and why you might need to have a “talk” with him
  • ​​frame on a societal level and on a interpersonal level
  • ​​how to understand MBTI personality typing (and why it helps you to do better with women)
  • ​the role of diet and exercise in success with women (hint: it’s not how it makes you look)
  • ​victim-perpetrator dynamics - how they are stagnating your love life, and how to break the cycle
  • ​“nice guys” vs “good guys” - the subtle difference, of why the former creep out women and not the latter
  • ​a major revelation in quantum mechanics you can use to improve your results with women (seriously)
  • ​how men and women interact with energy differently, and why it matters for how you attract them
  • ​low, middle, and high vibration people - and how their lives are different 
  • ​the mistake guys whose lives are improving almost always make… and how it can send them back years, if not derail their entire life
  • ​how to handle when a girl asks you if you are “seeing other girls”
  • ​the “right” way to masturbate that can actually improve your results with women
  • ​why wanting women to “do everything you want” is NOT an “alpha mindset”… and is guaranteed to end up biting you in the you-know-where
  • ​a simple mistake most men make that causes you to immediately lose the frame with women
  • ​“captain save a ‘ho” and “white knighting” explained, and how to “kill it” in yourself
  • ​the ULTIMATE source of frame, and the secret to becoming mentally unbreakable
  • ​esoteric secrets revealed: your energy body vs physical body
  • ​the seasons of your life… how to know which one you’re in, and how this will affect your relationships
  • ​energy “amplitude vs frequency” and its real-world consequences
  • ​cognitive functions and their use in mapping your personal growth
  • ​Donald Trump’s “frame control” secret (love him or hate him, this lesson is invaluable)
  • ​the wrong way to get sex from a woman that destroys your position with her longterm
  • ​the truth about “discipline”… and why it can actually make you less effective
  • ​the simple yet crucial thing “strong” men do around women that weak men always avoid
  • ​the effects of your childhood on your results with women… and how to reverse the trauma
  • ​can women “smell” when you’re using porn? what to do
  • ​the secret behind Rhonda Byrnes “The Secret” she doesn’t want you to know
  • ​your values, vision, and views - how to use these to not only date the right women, but to improve your results with them
  • ​the simple “trick” you can use to break bad habits and stop avoiding the things you need to do
  • ​“mommy-girlfriend” meme - addressing the baggage around your relationships with your mother
  • ​why you really beat yourself up when you make a mistake… and how to break the pattern
  • ​strong frame vs positive frame - the difference, and why it matters
  • ​what every guy with self-esteem and negative self-talk does that is actually making it worse (and what to do instead)
  • ​an essential daily practice that increases your ability to read other people
  • ​how most guys interact with women that turns them off… and how to talk to a woman instead that will make her both feel connected to you and want to sleep with you
  • ​what billionaires have always known about energy, and how you can use it to not only become rich in money… but rich in women
  • ​the one thing you HAVE to do with your parents (even if they’re no longer around)
  • ​savior complex: what causes it, and why it actually hurts the women you’re trying to help
  • ​the one phrase all men need to internalize to succeed not only with women, but financially
  • ​the 3 main centers of the body - and why women respond dramatically differently depending on which one you are speaking from
  • ​why guys feel weak and powerless in relationships… and the one big “reframe” that flips the script on women
  • ​why most “effective” dating advice can actually make your results with women worse 
  • ​what is really going on when a woman “rejects” you
  • ​why “nice guys” don’t need to worry about becoming assholes to get girls
  • ​the extremely common, attraction-devastating habit 80% of men have 
  • ​how to attract high-quality women towards you effortlessly
  • ​PLUS much more!

Module 2 - Female Nature and Vetting Women

This module explains female sexual psychology, “girl game” and how to determine which women are long-term material… and which you should avoid. It also examines our weak spots around women and healthy vs unhealthy attachment-dynamics.

Topics in the module are:
  • hypergamy and how much you should *really* care about it
  • ​the biggest factor determining your relationship with women (hint: it’s not your wallet, your game, or your looks)
  • ​how societal changes have effected female behavior
  • ​why most women “drain the energy” out of men (and how you stop this dynamic)
  • ​​the role of feminism in shifting and amplifying attachment issues
  • ​how the male ego works (and why a lack of awareness of this is so dangerous)
  • ​​the ideal woman (and how to find her… or cultivate her in your current girl)
  • ​attachment style differences between men and women
  • ​​the truth around the “red pill” and why it is an incomplete solution to modern problems with women
  • ​the connection between childhood trauma and relationship dynamics
  • ​what happens to *every* relationship… and why it causes most of them to fall apart
  • ​the dirty “truth” about what goes on in a woman’s head
  • ​why in practice not all women are as “ruled” by hypergamy as others (this matters a lot when it comes to choosing women)
  • ​the biggest “red flag” you need to screen for
  • ​what women want more than ANYTHING else from men
  • ​how girls REALLY “play the field” (hint: it’s not sex)
  • ​girl game: what is it, and how you MUST protect yourself from it
  • ​intelligence - why it matters in a woman, and what you should NOT confuse it with
  • ​find out what women think about during “me time” - aka what it really is about erotica that makes women so horny
  • ​what parts of the red pill to embrace, what parts to discard… and what will happen to your relationships with women if you don’t
  • ​how to prevent the “sex crash” after the first 6-12 months of dating
  • ​dating a virgin - what you should expect (and look out for)
  • ​when it’s actually a positive if a girl is “gaming” you
  • ​why women decide to “pursue” some men… then get tired of them later
  • ​the two types of women desired by the male unconscious… and how to attract the ideal woman who matches both of them
  • ​healthy masculine and feminine behavior vs unhealthy
  • ​what to do if a girl has a large instagram (and a lot of male attention)
  • ​neurolinguistic programming (NLP) - does it work?
  • ​the key differences between what your average woman and a “keeper” want in a man
  • ​3 primary types of attachment - and how this determines your success with women
  • ​“notch count” - the low down on a woman’s sexual past
  • ​how women use sex to manipulate men… and how to turn this in your favor
  • ​why you shouldn’t be too concerned if your woman has different beliefs than you
  • ​the two types of women that are “works in progress”… and the one type you must avoid at all costs
  • ​how to determine whether you’re “settling” or just emotionally avoidant
  • ​how to change a woman’s beliefs to match your own
  • ​the most important part of a relationship, bar none (don’t *ever* get serious with a girl without this)
  • ​what “controlling behavior” says about a woman… and why you should be careful
  • ​who usually ends the honeymoon phase and why
  • ​“mommy-gf” meme - what it says about you (yes, you - if you’re a man, I’m talking to you)
  • ​girls who have mostly guy friends - what this says about them (and how you should proceed)
  • ​diagnosing your own attachment style and how to potentially change it
  • ​girls who want to be pampered: should you date them?
  • ​how a woman’s relationship with her father affects her relationship with you
  • ​the four stages of female development (use this to decide if a girl is “girlfriend material”)
  • ​why you need to be very careful about the women who enter your life during a “win streak”
  • ​the top 2 things that indicate a woman is going to be difficult to date
  • ​why the most attractive women are rarely what you *actually* want (hear me out)
  • ​the sign you shouldn’t care much about a “girl’s values”
  • ​are tattoos a bad sign? my honest and uncensored take
  • ​the real purpose of a relationship (and why it should never get “boring”)
  • ​the question you need to ask yourself if your woman isn’t giving you what you want (this cuts to the heart of the issue)
  • ​the fatal mistake guys make when looking for “red flags” (it can actually trap them with the worst girls)
  • ​“feisty” women - and what you can expect dating them
  • ​the trait that transcends even personality compatibility in relationship success
  • ​the list of criteria you should be looking for when it comes to female “attractiveness”
  • ​AND much more!

Module 3 - Attraction and Game

This module discusses the “Three Pillars of Attraction,” the nature of masculinity and femininity, and breaks down approaching in-depth. It also explores all the key tactical applications of game.

Topics in the module are:
  • how to create an automatic “lead generator” for new women
  • ​your objective vs subjective value - and how it affects your attractiveness
  • ​the easiest way anybody can increase the quality and quantity of women in their life
  • ​how to psychologically dominate a woman (she’ll compare other guys to you for years)
  • ​the truth about your “looks” and how much they matter to women
  • ​how to practice approaching… without actually approaching (this is great for shy guys to get started)
  • ​the 3 stages of a successful interaction with a woman, and why you must follow them in this order
  • ​the 4 key ways to become “preselected” so women approach you
  • ​“selling yourself” to women - the right way
  • ​what needs to happen before you allow yourself to become interested in a girl
  • ​how to handle it when a woman makes herself look stupid on a date
  • ​the real reason most approaches and dates go poorly (women hate to tell you this, but it’s true)
  • ​how to NEVER run out things to say with a woman
  • ​cognitive dissonance in women and how to look for it
  • ​the 2 types of persona (hint: one of these isn’t so good for you)
  • ​how you can tell immediately whether a woman has a healthy personality or not
  • ​the masculine shadow - and why you must confront it to become a man
  • ​the mistake 9/10 men make that amplifies a woman’s bad moods
  • ​understanding how to manage a woman’s emotional state 
  • ​the difference between “game” and “playing games” - and why no matter how attractive, you want to avoid women doing the latter
  • ​the counterintuitive technique that ensures “rock solid frame” when talking to a woman
  • ​when you absolutely *must* tell a girl you’re attracted to her from the moment you approach
  • ​the 3 “energies” you must be bringing to a woman when you approach her
  • ​approaching indirectly: is there a place for it among confident men? I explain
  • ​push-pull dynamics with women - how to do them correctly and escalate rapidly
  • ​which guys need to have more aggressive game than your typical man
  • ​the “ethical” way to send mixed-messages to women
  • ​the simple, “normal” skill that will make a girl addicted to you
  • ​how to avoid being “fake” while gaming women
  • ​“shit tests” - a comprehensive breakdown of what they are, and how to pass them
  • ​assumptions: why they are so powerful, and how to become better at making them
  • ​the annoying thing *all* women do when they like us (we hate this, but we shouldn’t)
  • ​ignore the PUAs: why “being funny” isn’t a good way to attract women (do this instead)
  • ​one of the most important concepts in attraction I learned from my mentor Nick Sparks
  • ​why “the neg” is one of the most powerful techniques… but only *if* you do it in this important context
  • ​what happens when you develop your personality the wrong way… and how to prevent this disaster
  • ​the “blindspot” most men have with women that causes them to overanalyze (don’t do this)
  • ​the mistake most beginners make with game that make women hate them (avoid this for obvious reasons lol)
  • ​“psychological game” - what is it, why it’s so powerful, and how to harness it
  • ​​an advanced way to handle a woman playing games (nothing works better than this… if you do it right)
  • ​“overgaming” - the most common reason this happens, and the surprisingly simple way to stop it
  • ​the mistake every man “naturally” makes with women (unlearn this and you will never have to worry about drama again)
  • ​money vs fame - which is more powerful?
  • ​the difference between masculine and feminine energy
  • ​how to create sexual tension naturally
  • ​a fun, easy-to-implement technique on approaches that almost guarantees a girl will listen to what you have to say
  • ​the “80/20 split” in game you need to internalize
  • ​why “getting women to chase you” is the WRONG approach to dating (here’s what you should be doing)
  • ​a simple, cheesy technique way to get a girl fantasizing about you and DESPERATE to see you again
  • ​how to “change yourself” while staying true to yourself
  • ​the difference between approaches that fall flat and those that “hook her” in
  • ​the 2 types of “cold approaches” - what they are and when to use them
  • ​the part of women you *must* accept if you want all of her love and femininity (this is difficult to do, but it will make her adore you)
  • ​the “superpower” I have that allows me to read people quickly and accurately, no matter what they are saying (and how you can learn it too)
  • ​a major sign your relationship is on the rocks… but why you shouldn’t give up hope
  • ​what 99% of dating advice misses - this is so important it often ends up making guys do WORSE with women
  • ​“amplification” - what it is, and why it works like a charm on women
  • ​what women really want to feel from a man
  • ​how introverts can attract women without being someone they’re not
  • ​the most effective (and natural) technique I know for developing rapid attraction and connection
  • ​what differentiates the “naturals” with women from the guys who focus on “systems” or “routines”
  • ​what dancing and dating have in common (this makes attraction much easier to understand)
  • ​a simple, powerful technique for developing attraction with a girl you’ve just met (this one will transform the way you think about conversations)
  • ​becoming mysterious: a simple tactic you can implement on any date
  • ​the easy and effortless “tactic” that gets women hooked on you
  • ​why “awkwardness” on a date can actually be a very, very good thing (just make sure you handle it correctly)
  • ​how to use “mixed messages” effectively to get women obsessed with “figuring you out”
  • ​the right and wrong way to ask a girl questions (mess this up and you’ll be friend-zoned in minutes)
  • ​an incredible “story-telling” technique
  • ​what most “pick up artists” get wrong that the son of a poor farmer got right
  • ​the counter-intuitive “tell” that a girl is ready for you to kiss her
  • ​what you should be doing instead of asking her questions (forget this, and creating attraction becomes very difficult)
  • ​rejecting women - how to do it the right way
  • ​PLUS much more!

Module 4 - Dating Strategies and Social Dominance

This module discusses dating from a bird’s eye view as well as the different (and most effective) ways to meet and attract women. Online dating, day game, night game, are all covered here… as is the fastest and most effective way to build up a massive social circle.

Topics in the module are:
  • the “ideal” first date - what you should do, where you should go and why
  • ​how to choose exactly which photos you should put on your dating profile, no more, no less
  • ​calling a girl - should you do it? I’ll show you the only time when… and the best way to execute it
  • ​how and when to host a party - a detailed strategy of how to get people to show up and make them lifetime fans
  • ​an easy “mindset shift” at a bar that will make it natural and easy to approach women at a bar (people make it so much harder than they have to!)
  • ​the optimal number of exchanges you should have online before you ask for her number
  • ​should you “buy” on a date? the *correct* answer most dating advice seems to miss
  • ​the problem with online dating if you’re looking for something serious (hint: it’s not about the sex)
  • ​the type of attraction social media is most important for
  • ​2 examples of well-executed online dating exchanges
  • ​what 9/10 guys do when a girl responds to their message… and why you should NEVER do it
  • ​a significant reason to consider social media even if what you have on there isn’t “cool”
  • ​the best time and place for daygame
  • ​what to do the second you meet a girl on a first date
  • ​a simple piece of advice to follow so your party runs seamlessly
  • ​which types of people to target for friendships if you want to grow your social circle fast
  • ​what a picture really does “speak a thousand words” - and how to leverage that in your favor
  • ​how long you “should” wait for sex with a girl
  • ​the subtle but crucial thing you MUST do on a date if you want to see her again (there’s very little room for error with this)
  • ​why online dating isn’t “bad” but is often used incorrectly - here’s what to do differently
  • ​what the “pros” do to get a girl to respond to their messages… especially when they don’t know anything about her
  • ​“night game” - a comprehensive breakdown of how to attract and close women at bars
  • ​how to physically escalate in a public place
  • ​the way to approach a girl when she’s with a friend (do this and her friend will help you seal the deal)
  • ​the one thing you HAVE to do if you want to hook up with a woman after a date… especially if its only your first or second one
  • ​a powerful and uncommon type of second date (nothing builds romantic momentum like this)
  • ​the LAST thing you should ever allow a girl to do on a date (cancel if she insists)
  • ​a counter-intuitive tell a woman is a “red flag” - if you see this on her profile, turn away
  • ​a powerful little technique that protects you from bad first dates… and makes the good ones even better
  • ​what to do at a party to attract the most beautiful women there
  • ​the arc of a good first date: what do throughout the date, and when
  • ​the best time to meet girls at a bar… and the worst 
  • ​your social media and how you can use it to rapidly accelerate your dating life
  • ​the mistake 95% of beginners make at bars (DON’T do this unless you want to look like a loser!)
  • ​the EXACT moment in a “set” when you should get a girl’s number
  • ​the biggest mistake guys make when hosting a party (this can guarantee people will never return again, make sure it doesn’t happen!)
  • ​how long an “ideal” first date should be (there are some exceptions to this, but not many - we go into why in detail)
  • ​how to handle “rejection” at a bar (do this and you’ll very often hook up with the girl later that night anyway)
  • ​the 3 types of women at a bar… and how to approach each of them
  • a simple way to know which girl wants to be approached at a bar
  • ​a detailed breakdown of daygame - from approach to number close
  • ​why sleeping with a girl quickly actually has little to do with how much she likes you (and what you HAVE to do if you really want to get her hooked)
  • ​how a girl should feel when she reads through your profile (if this doesn’t happen, she’s clicking away!)
  • ​a simple photo tip to improve your “swipes” dramatically
  • ​the “formula” of how much you should disclose (and what) so a girl remains curious but feels like she trusts you enough to see you again
  • ​the perfect ratio for a house party - and why you can’t mess this up (no, more girls is not always better)
  • ​approaching girls in groups - how to do it without getting “blown out”
  • ​how to make a girl “hook” once you’ve started talking to her
  • ​the 2 essential criteria to consider when planning on meeting women “in real life”
  • ​why you need to watch out if a girl insists on paying
  • ​the right way to make statements about things you care about online
  • ​the profiles that capture a woman’s attention… and the ones that turn her off
  • ​how to message a girl on an app
  • ​why most of the “pick up” videos you see online are BS and give bad leads - here’s what you should do instead
  • ​the difference between “harem material” girls and women you should get “exclusive” with
  • ​a simple and effective way to stop a woman on the street
  • ​instagram closes - and why you should be cautious (unless this one thing applies to you)
  • ​what you need to do to attract women in “high energy” environments
  • ​a fun and powerful technique that almost guarantees to get a girl laughing
  • ​the best “seat” in a venue for a first date
  • ​expectations of your woman- which ones show leadership, and which ones just reflect poorly on you
  • ​understanding the unconscious fantasies of women and how to “become” exactly what she’s looking for
  • ​the “vibe” you want to create on a first date (mess this up and she’ll either think you’re a creep or just a friend)
  • ​the 5 tiers of women - how to know exactly the type of woman you’re dating
  • ​when to physically escalate with a girl on a date and how
  • ​how to “warm up” for the night… so women are drawn to you the moment you enter the venue
  • ​the 4 primary types of people you will connect with… and how you must “connect” differently with each of them
  • ​the mistake guys make ALL the time on first dates which gets them “friendzoned”
  • ​“soul mates” - are they a real thing?
  • ​And that's not all...

Module 5 - Relationship Management and Intimacy

This module examines relationships — key topics include but are not limited to handling jealousy and infidelity, managing conflict and moods, becoming a leader in your marriage, and deepening intimacy. It also covers everyone’s favorite topic: sex! And not only how to be extra good at it, but how to eliminate performance issues.

Topics in the module are:
  • the 2 sides of attraction, and how to balance them (essential if you want anything to happen romantically with a woman)
  • ​when to get aggressive with competition
  • ​“comfort” issues in a relationship, and what women do when they don’t get enough of this
  • ​jealousy in a woman: is it a good or bad thing? the 2 types and what you need to know
  • ​dread game: is it a good thing? when and how to use it
  • ​vulnerability in relationships - why it can improve or destroy a relationship
  • ​the common manosphere approach to saving your relationship - and why it can often make it WORSE
  • ​the easiest way to “supercharge” your woman’s femininity (this makes even the “hardest” woman go soft)
  • ​the 2 mistakes guys make when they’re having issues with their woman, which practically guarantees a relationship will end
  • ​how to respond when another guy flirts with your woman (do this and she’ll become more attracted to you - even if the guy is “above you”)
  • ​STOP DOING THIS NOW - the mistake EVERY man has made with an emotional woman
  • ​why women “abuse” men - and how to stop it
  • ​how a lack of desire destroys relationships… and how to reverse it
  • ​male friendships: why they matter, even if you’ve found “the one”
  • ​the easiest kind of relationship - and how you and your woman can co-create it
  • ​how to “heal” your woman’s emotional wounds
  • ​the way you should think about your weaknesses (a counterintuitive approach that actually makes them go away faster)
  • ​good fighting and bad fighting: the difference (and how to make sure you’re only doing the former)
  • ​how to handle infidelity and jealousy (and prevent it from *ever* happening)
  • ​why you always need to be prepared to leave a relationship
  • ​“deep game” - a little discussed form of game that makes women fall HARD for you (use this carefully: it works even if you’ve only been dating for weeks)
  • ​how to reignite your woman’s desire for you… even if you’ve been together for years
  • ​the strongest mindset you can cultivate - and how
  • ​“saying no” - why you should be doing this more often… just make sure you do it in the right way
  • ​how to lead in a way that will get even the most “difficult” women to follow
  • ​erotic hypnotism - how to learn about it
  • ​the solution to premature ejaculation
  • ​when to ask a woman for her support - with an important caveat
  • ​interdependence vs codependence
  • ​“alpha widowing” - making sure your woman feels like no other man can compare to you
  • ​female orgasms: the 3 main types
  • ​what the mainstream *and* the manosphere get wrong about vulnerability
  • ​the problem with how most guys think about fights
  • ​what a woman does 4/5 times when she’s cheating
  • ​“alchemy” in relationships
  • ​the “mindset shift” one of my mentors taught me that eliminated resentment in my relationship
  • ​dealing with a woman who gets angry and violent
  • ​what you need to remember when another guy wants your girl (that is, if you want to keep her)
  • ​what to remember when another woman is interested in you
  • ​how men inadvertently abuse women, which drives them “crazy” (hint: this is why most men complain about “crazy women”)
  • ​why most guys lose frame throughout relationships
  • ​what women are looking for from their man (do this and she’ll never have cause to leave you)
  • ​how to talk about your feelings in a relationship - and how not to (do this wrong and you’ll turn her off big time)  
  • ​a counterintuitive way to get your woman to “behave” better in the relationship
  • ​how to stop resentment dead in its tracks
  • ​the attitude most men and women have in their relationships which are CANCEROUS to intimacy (fix this if you want to keep the spark alive)
  • ​boundaries - what they are, and how to cultivate them
  • ​how to be dominant in a relationship without being controlling (this subtle shift makes it easy to “hold frame” - no matter what she throws at you)
  • ​dealing with dark fantasies (and whether you should reveal them to your woman)
  • exactly how to touch a woman to get her to cum
  • ​why ambition is a double-edged sword for women
  • ​the “mental mistake” most guys make in bed that turns women off big time
  • ​a clear-cut sign you should NEVER do what your woman asks you
  • ​sexual expectations with your woman - this is a problem, and here’s how to stop them
  • ​what sort of dynamic you should be creating in a relationship if you want to keep things exciting
  • ​why porn is bad - not good - for your sex life
  • ​​what women tend to do after children that can RUIN a relationship (here’s how to prevent it)
  • ​lust vs love - how to balance the two in a relationship
  • ​why performance issues aren’t a bad thing in some cases
  • ​polyamory: my uncensored opinion (based on having lived in these communities)
  • ​what to do when a woman gets moody or emotional (handle this incorrectly and you’ll only make it worse)
  • ​how to make sure a relationship stays passionate even with kids
  • ​why conflict can actually be a good thing in a relationship (for some relationships, it’s an amazing sign)
  • ​what you need to accept about your woman if you want to have an incredible sex life with her
  • ​passive-aggressiveness - how it develops, and how to stop it (and get her love and affection instead)
  • ​what the man’s role in a fight is (ignore everything your father probably told you)
  • ​performance anxiety - what to do if you can’t get it up (and how to make sure it stops happening in the future)
  • ​PLUS MUCH MORE!

BONUS Module - Uncensored Q&A

I actually debated NOT including this module in the course. It was a tough call, and here’s why:

This module was filmed at the very end of production. And since we had been going HARD the previous few days… I was in a celebratory mood. 

So I popped a bottle of cremant de jura (more or less champagne) and drank pretty much the entire bottle over this hour.

Professional?

Not so much.

And at certain points you might say the libations made me a little… “loose” with my characterizations of female behavior.

Suffice to say this module is not PC. Some of the more sensitive souls might be jarred by it.

But I kept it for one reason.

Aside from the raw, uncensored nature of this module — or perhaps because of it — it’s some of the best material in this entire course.

You see, I am GOOD when I am answering questions. I make all sorts of connections, really get to the heart of the problem.

And these questions were for the most part pretty awesome. A lot of fun stuff to riff off of.

So with the alcohol dropping my filter a bit… you really get a taste of what it’s like working with me 1-1.

Anyway, this module runs an hour long. Some of the questions I answer include:
  • “how do cycles of tension and resolution change in a long term relationship?”
  • ​“how do I get past the feeling of being completely dejected? I’m deep into self-improvement, yet as my standards grow higher I seem to have less options than ever”
  • ​“What’s stopping me from getting a date? Girls say I have a confident, chill, nice calm energy.”
  • ​“People often advise to do the inner work. What does this look like to you?”
  • ​“Is it a waste of time to date women with opposite political views”
  • ​“ExGF has a boyfriend but still texts me to hang out. How should I respond to this?”
  • ​“What is the right balance for having sex with your partner for the rest of your life?”
  • ​“How do I get my more misogynistic and material friends to see the light? Friend dating a great girl, cheated on her, yet says he wants to find a stable relationship.”
  • ​“What are your thoughts on hypersexual girls that need lots of attention. Are they high cheat risks?”
  • ​“What happens if a date goes badly?”
  • ​“Is love compatible in a Red Pill frame?”
  • ​“When do breaks or space make sense in a relationship?”
  • ​“Besides finding hobbies, how do you meet more women?”
  • ​“How do I get less needy and attached to women without banging my way through all of them?”
  • ​“Who should I be going out with? Just guys, girls or a mix?”
  • ​“Can people change?”
  • ​“My passions for women fade once I “figure them out.” How do I stop this from happening?”
  • ​“How should I handle a breakup?”
  • ​PLUS many more!
Well, I think that pretty much covers it all.

The only question remains — are you ready to buy.

Those who are on my email list know I’m not much in the business of trying to convince.
You either want to improve this area of your life… or you don’t.

I’ve had hundreds of sales calls for my business over the last few years, and what I’ve observed is:

The bottom don’t do anything about them at all. They are helpless and get consumed by them. And when the chickens come home to roost, they blame other people.

The middle (most) are better. They take action… but only when survival is threatened. They focus primarily on eliminating pain, or acquiring quick pleasure.

Meanwhile, the elite? 

They take action when problems are SMALL.

They want to cover ALL of their bases.

If their dating life is good, but not exactly where they want it to be… they don’t settle. 
If their relationship is solid, but some issues are unresolved… they don’t let them fester.

They don’t waste time trying to “figure things out” when someone else has the answers they’re looking for.

Why is that?

Because they realize that TIME and ENERGY are far more important currencies than money.

The masterclass is a distillation of 11 years of obsessive thinking and "living" love and attraction, as well as the experience of top mentors in the fields I’ve studied DIRECTLY under like Nick Sparks, Alex Allman, Lorraine DeLear.

So if I took 50,000 hours of research and compressed it into 15 hours, you better believe that there’s no fluff in there.

Right now my general hourly rate is $500 per hour.

Which means the course is 15 times as long, for the same price.

And you can revisit it forever.

Lots of men will spend hundreds of dollars on a night out trying to impress ladies (there are smarter ways to capture their attention, IMO).

Even more men will buy something for their girlfriend to fix things up when they’re in trouble.

Yet these are the same men who think paying money for a dating coach is a “scam”.

For the same cost as just one of those gifts you buy her to avoid an argument, you can make sure your relationship improves starting today.

But I know for some of you the money isn’t the problem. You’re just wondering if it’s exactly the right thing for you.

“Pat, I’m in a relationship — I don’t need the stuff on day game”

“Pat, I’m single and not looking to get serious. The intimacy stuff isn’t a priority”
 
Reality of course is that these situations change when you start leveling up. Women grow with you or you grow past them. Happens *all the time* with my clients. But I digress.

The “game” modules apply far beyond dating, and do wonders not only with your long-time woman but with charming people in general... meanwhile the modules on relationships help you to understand women viscerally, giving you a superpower in connecting even if you’re not “exclusive”.

But cool. I get it.

Don’t buy a course that is 5x longer and denser than 99% of the rest on the market because 10% of it might not be what you need right now.

The truth is each module could have been a different course. Who knows — maybe that would have been smarter. Five courses at $200 each instead of $500 for one. Easier marketing, more money.

But I didn’t want to do that, so I didn’t.

I didn't make this course to simply share a few tactical tools on some niche issue relating to attraction. Nor did I do it to regurgitate the usual "basic" talking points about women. I attack an enormous number of topics in this course — and not just from a surface but a deep level.

This masterclass is for anyone who has ever found women (or even themselves) mysterious. 

It isn’t a normal product. It’s designed to rewire your mind and give you every tool to leverage this new mindset.

It’s is a premium because, in my 11+ years of being in this “industry,” I have never seen anything like it.

Anyway, enough said.

See you on the inside.

- Pat
Grab Your Copy Of The Pat Stedman Masterclass Now!
A DISCLAIMER:

Many marketers will tell you at this point on the sales page that you have no risk in buying, because you have a guaranteed refund within 30 days/60 days/365 days (whatever) if you’re not satisfied. They do this because they know while freebie-seekers will free-load and abuse this guarantee, more people “on the fence” - like you perhaps are - will buy the course and not refund. Mathematically this makes sense, however, out of principle I am not doing this for my course. 

I have laid out in detail what’s inside this masterclass. It’s my life’s work - formed from over 50,000 hours of research and experience. If you go through it and ask for a refund, as far as I am concerned you are stealing. It is like going to a restaurant, licking the plate clean, and complaining the food was not good enough to pay for.

So know before you purchase, refunds are at my discretion. If for whatever reason you find you dislike the course, stop watching and ask me for a refund early - otherwise your request will be denied.

Feel free to watch the video below of one lesson to get an idea of the course, and of course, check out a few testimonials of clients who have been through it.
P.S. - if you're skimming and just wanted to see what the offer was... for just $500, you're getting over 14 hours of videos on mastering yourself and women - the same material Pat has covered with his coaching clients who pay thousands of dollars to work with him. 
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